I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
