If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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