never play flip cup with pint glasses
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
