I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Two words: blizzard sex
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