All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't deserve a penis
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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