I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
