that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
