Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
barbara walters just said penis...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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