Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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