I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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