Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
