They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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