Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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