I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Im part way to drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
