I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
