can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
