stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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