chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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