i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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