How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
