you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
