The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
