You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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