you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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