"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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