You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize