That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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