Got a toothbrush?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
