did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
