My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
