did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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