Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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