i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
