i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
