She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
