Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
