I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize