no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
