Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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