Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize