the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
