Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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