Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize