I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
