I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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