you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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