im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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