I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize