i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize