so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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