it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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