I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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