Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
