College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
