I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I intend to get homeless drunk
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
