I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
