i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
