she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
