My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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