Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
