So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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