it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
