So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
