you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
